:)

A year passes by in a blink of an eye,
From a white clean sheet into a kite reaching for the sky,
Along the way were winds of barrier,
Though we are still in love may it long last forever.

The marriage has survived a tough first year. Here's hoping for a life happily ever after.

To Nor Azliana binti Aridi, Happy Anniversary love.

The Plight of an Obsessed Fan

I was born and raised in a family of man. I still remember fondly how me and my 4 brothers showed our manliness in every inch of our behavior. There were unwritten rules embedded in our mind that we were mandated to follow, rules that we thought would turn us into a real man. As I grew older I found out these rules were mostly bollocks, often made by my own dad to impose his man power on us kids (there's no such things as becoming sexually impotent for wearing your briefs at night right?) . Nevertheless, I spent a good chunk of my childhood abiding these rules, thus making me the man I am today.

One of the main rules was as a man, I must like sports. It doesn't matter what sport it is, make it basketball, football, volleyball or whatever, as a child with a banana like organs between my crotch, I am obliged to follow sports or my dad would cut off my dangler so I can become a girl. So there was I, some 20 years back, sitting in front of the tube, forced to change from cartoons to sport programs, where I would spend the next hour or so watching something I can barely understand (By the way, watching too much cartoons will make the eyes blind, as mentioned by the rules). I hated it so much back then, pretty much unaware how much sports were going to be a big part of my life later.

Little by little, the influence of sport in my life became bigger and bigger. No longer it was just something to do during my past time. All of the sudden, sport started to represent me. It has become a big part of my life, the main topic of conversation. I started to become more passionate about the teams that I supported, and I am so proud to say that I am and always will be a devoted Arsenal fan. I still remember the year 1997/98, when Arsenal won the Premier League. Back then, 99.9% of the school population supported that damn Devils from Manchester, and I was the only person who was bold enough to come out and declare myself as an Arsenal fan. You would not believe the abuse I got whenever Arsenal got beatan that year, and especially when ManUre got that infamous 12 point lead, damn, it was like living in the West Bank of Gaza. It was torture, man. And when Arsenal clawed their way and pipped ManUre for the title? I was so elated and felt like want to tell the world how great I was for supporting the champions. The problem was, I had no one to celebrate with!! Ha Ha!!

Sports for me is a human devotion like no other(there's that one devotion to Allah, which is THE ultimate devotion of all, but that's another story) . Humans need inspiration to motivate them on achieving the hardest of feats. What better can inspire us than sports? Sports let us dream, inspire us to do something that we could never do. Sports taught me that no matter who you are and where did you come from, if you really wanted something, you give all you got to achieve it, then nothing's impossible. Micheal Jordan came from a humble background to become the best basketball player ever. Pele survived a life of gangsters and criminals to win the World Cup 3 times. Arsenal were just a mid table scrapper before becoming a title challenger every year. All of these sportsmen were just ordinary men, just like all of us before they became superstars. Their unmatched will and desire to be the best, their mentality of winning at all cost added up to their hours of hardwork are great examples for all of us to follow. Sports can give us elation, an exhilaration of joy and pride. But the most important of all, sports let us dream, let us believe that no matter who we are or where did we come from, we can achieve anything we wished for if we have the outmost desire to realize our dreams. They say 'you reap what you sow', and that's true to every syllable.

Lots of people keep questioning me, why I am so passionate and obsessed with sports, with Arsenal especially. I don't mind that, but what really bothers me is that the ones who keep asking are the ones who spent hours idolising Akademi Fantasia, and spending lots of money on magazines about cars (without the money to buy them!). Sorry, but I'd rather spend my weekend nights watching football at nearby mapley rather than watching a bunch of monkeys humiliating themselves by singing.

Cut my skin, my blood is red and white,
Dare to pull down my pants, I got a cannon between my crotch.
Arsenal for Life!!

He is here Pt 2

He is here

Muhammad Farhi Irham bin Fairuz Indra

Reaching out

Hoping that someone would take a second to listen.

Fucking stressed out

Sigh..

A month away from the big day.
Tirades of babbling just wont go away
Stabbing through the heart like an inflamed spear
By the person I hold in my hart so dear

Keep it together the soul said
To meet the one for a long time you have waited
For it would be worth every drop of the dripping blood
To finally embrace the one who shall take away the sad

To the people I would die for
With an honest quest and nothing more
This tortured soul would survive the deepest of seas
For he shall always be there for you like heartless fleas

Sleepless

Its cold
Its dark

Thinking bout the future
The path that I should embark
The choices that I should make
The reasons that I should hang onto

One reason is snoring beside me
The other is striving to be with me

For those I would put my life on the line for
I love you with regret no more

12.06am

I

@PENANG

2009 Year In Review

January

Voila!! A year ago (15^th January 2008 to be exact) I joined an MNC company as I stepped my foot into the working world. The sun did not shine through the whole day though, as it turned out this particular MNC company was shite, despite the good salary they are paying me. The highlight of the month was my visit to my fiancée’s family for my wedding discussion. Though the event was marred by unwanted presence from some hideous looking fleshes, I was chuffed to finally realize that I was getting married. I was pumped to know that I would be marrying my love of six years. Cue cheesy inspirational love music!!!

Football was a non factor. Arsenal were starting to crack. Cesc was out till March. A certain Russian arrived to bolster the squad.

February

My job sucked, my life sucked, as I struggled to find the perfect balance for both worlds. Money was totally an issue, as my wedding ceremony got nearer and nearer. I started to spend more time on job searching sites than any sport related sites. Got myself few interviews but nothing good came out of them.

Oh right, I began learning the art of DOTA. At the office. During office hours.

March

The lazy became the busy. As my wedding preparation became hectic, I realized I still yet to have enough savings for my soon to be married life. Everyday I woke up thinking how long I would be staying at Satyam. Started dreaming of getting better jobs elsewhere, coincided with another few interviews at various companies. But still, nothing. Oh and I also woke up thinking what heroes I’d be using for DOTA later at the office. By the way, my working hours officially start at 10am and end at any time I wanted it to end.

Arsenal were getting better as captain Cesc returned and Arshavin firing at all angles. Got few wins under the belt to kick start the season again. Oh and the little Russian scored FOUR goals at Anfield but we still end up with a draw, Sigh.

April

Summoned by a damn Indian who wanted me to quit the company so they don’t have to pay me compensation which totally stupid by their part. Decided with my fellow workers not to bow down to their demand though. Sigh. What in the world would come up next. Decided to self therapy by DOTA-ing every damn single day. At the office. During office hours. Haha..

Went to Bukit Jalil to watch Malaysian FA Cup final. Selangor prevailed by the virtue of penalties in a drab encounter. The fans were marvelous though.

Got myself a brand new 42 inch FULL HD LCD PLASMA TV. The single biggest spending I have ever made.

Arsenal were trashed by Man U in the Champions League. I felt like wanting to stop my Astro Sports Package subscription. My football season was officially over.

May

Finally I managed to save enough benjamins for my wedding. Coughed out RM9000 for ‘hantaran’, and spent a further RM2000 approx. for new furnitures. Bought a new washing machine, a sofa set, and few more stuffs. Suddenly, my hard earned savings disappeared like smoke.

Its one month before my wedding. Yikes.

Man U wrapped up their third successive EPL crown but were later trashed by Barcelona in the Champs. League final. Viva Espana!!

Bought a new car. A Peugeot 206. Or NAZA Bestari. A real bargain at RM425 per month.

June

I wedded my long time girl on the 6^th of June. The ceremony went well. Had a BBQ ‘party’ with my pals a night before my wedding, which was a blast. Went to a cold place for our honeymoon.

By the way, my first fucking session was incredible. Hahahahaha..

The Lakers won the NBA championship by beating the Magic 4-1. Forget Kobe, Gasol was the real star in this one.

July

Had my wedding ceremony in K.L, which coincided with my brother’s birthday, which coincided with the Man U-Malaysia match at Bukit Jalil. Damn you Man U. Add another reason for hating them in my list. I hate it when a group of scumbags stole my thunder.

Watched the new transformers movie which sucked.

Watch the new Johny Depp movie which was ok.

Still waiting for a movie that can really satisfy me this year. Damn. I’m a hard man to please.

My wife suffered an accident on her way back from work. Damn. Met with bribe eating police officers. Damn. Our new Peugeot was hurt badly. Damn.

A damn week.

August

Went to Padang to visit my mom’s hometown. Superb. Ate lots of nice food. I especially loved the ’telor barendo’. Yummy!!

Caught a few more movies which again, left me wanting for more. Its my first Ramadhan as a husband people!! And I got an incredible job offer, which pays me 10 times my current salary!! And I rejected it!! Am I crazy!! No way!! I have responsibilities!! All the sudden, I bought an XBOX 360!! Why am I using all these “!” marks!! I’m not shouting at all!!!

Interview sessions kept coming non stop. Got one interview in Shah Alam which I pinned a lot of hope on. I got scared after reading the questions, almost drove back home before the interview started. In the end I picked my balls up and went through it. It worked out well though, as a week later they called me for a second interview.

The new football season started. Arsenal signed some Belgian bloke called Vermaelan as their only summer signing. Skeptical I was.

September

A happening month.

Watched ‘The Orphan’ and ‘Up!’. Both were great, especially the animated one, which almost left me teary at the end of the movie. Brilliant.

Went to Shah Alam for the second interview. The session was horrendous, as I felt like wanting to slap the interviewer’s face till his tongue comes out. Went home feeling distraught. Deep inside however, I still hope and pray that someway somehow I’d get the job offer.

Found out that I’m going to be a dad by April next year. Yippieee!! Later found out my wife had a cyst inside her belly which required an operation to remove it. No yippieee!!! I was worried to death. Everything went well however, as the surgery went smooth, although the recovery period was hellish, for my wife that is. I stayed by her side all the way, no more DOTA at office for me. Hell, I have stopped going to the office since August but they still pay me my salary, which was like HAHA!!

Got a call I have been waiting for. Succeeded in getting the job I desperately wanted. Finally, I’m leaving Satyam. Yay!! And I got a month bonus from Satyam for playing DOTA for the past six months. Yay!! Paid up my XBOX 360 with the money.Yay!! Its gonna be the best raya ever!!Yay!!

YAY!!

Turned 25 on the 22^nd. We celebrated Raya in K.L. Unfortunately, we had to cancel our plan to celebrate in Pendang due to my wife’s fragile post surgery condition.

Arsenal lost consecutive games to the Manchesters. Damn. A bad end to a sizzling month.

October

Officially resigned from Satyam. I had a thunderous argument with HR on my last working day there. Started working at new place at Bukit Jalil on the 15th. Found out that I need to learn a lot more to be good in engineering. Set up appointments every month with the doctor from now on to check up my baby/wife’s condition. Invited friends over to Putrajaya for a little ‘makan2’. The briyani was succulent.

Arsenal went on a 13 game unbeaten run. Shiny days indeed.

November

The best month of the year. Why? The baby’s doing well, growing actively in my wife’s womb. The wife’s also getting healthier. The new job satisfies my need for experience immensely. Lots of work, lots of new stuffs to learn and do. Although new projects kept piling up, I’d b happy if it stays this way for months to come. It’s a payback for all those DOTA hours. I was able to spend lots of time with my wife at home after work, and to just sit on the couch roaming through the channel of my 42 INCH FULL HD LCD PLASMA TV while listening and feeling the movements of my baby was heavenly. Just don’t ask us to watch DVD’s though. We’d end up doing our own instead.

Visit my in laws in Pendang for the first time since I got married.. Spent a good chunk of money on new shirts at Padang Besar. Treated like a king by my in laws which made me felt uncomfortable at times.

Experienced my first ever Qurban. It was gross at start, but once I held a knife and began to prod into the cow’s body, thank you, I’d be glad to do it again next time.

Arsenal had a disastrous November as they always do. And Van Persie is out for the whole season. Damn.

December

Just like November, lots of work to do. Trips to Shah Alam became more frequent, as meetings after meetings were attended.

Found out my mom will have another hero in the family. The baby is five months old, and he is doing well. He is one strong baby I tell you. He lives in a scarred womb but still able to grow steadily inside. He’s so active kicking and moving, especially when my wife’s eating something. Thank you Allah for your blessings.

Malaysia won the SEA games football gold medal by beating Vietnam 1-0. For the first time in a long time I was proud to be a Malaysian. Can’t remember a Malaysian team that actually worked hard as team, with everyone backing each others up. How about Malaysia to qualify for the World Cup 2014!?! Let’s book our flights to Brazil!!

Suffered my first near death experience. Lost control of my car, the car skidded and spun 360 degrees before hitting the road pavement. Luckily, I was not harmed and the car was not in as bad condition as I first thought. Feel stupid for being reckless.

Went to Penang during new year's eve. It was like our second honeymoon really. Spent 10hours driving on our way back due to some reasons. Not traffic jam though.

All in all, 2009 was a great but challenging year for me. There were times when I hit rock bottom, when I was so depressed I feel like wanting to go to a land far away from here. But there were also times when I was elated, when I felt joy. There were moments of exhilaration that I have never felt before, probably never again. And for all those moments, whether bad or good, I have grown, and become more mature in making decisions that will affect not just me but everyone connected with me. With new life to live, new responsibilities to carry, I embrace 2010 with arms wide open. Here’s hoping for a great 2010. Insya Allah.